WINSTON BURBANK FLAKES ON ALAURA EDEN’S BIRTHDAY PARTY: “I COULDN’T GO ‘CAUSE MY PENIS IS TOO AMAZING!”

give a guy his own signature dildo and he thinks he rules the world

Fayner Posts: I see how it is now.

People find out about the sweet gift of flesh you have hiding in your trousers, begin gossiping, is it really that big? oh yeah, I saw it myself, it’s fucking huge! and then just like that you go from innocent little chipmunk with the squeezable cheeks to a heartless male-whore too in demand to hang out on a yacht with a bunch of friends during a birthday celebration.

“Jenna jameson might be calling me to fill in on a scene,” Winston told me as the yacht waited at dock for him to show up. “Sure, I wish I was there, but let me ask you, who would satisfy all the needy women back on shore if I’m out on the water with all of you?”

I had no answer.

“No one! That’s who! I have a responsibility to every sexual aching woman out there…to please her in ways only my penis and I can! Live with it, peasants!”

We at Lukeford find Winston’s actions to be callous and greed-filled. There is no excuse for missing Alaura’s birthday party. There may or may not be a hit ordered on Winston.

Also, Jonni Darkko, Todd Todd and Anh missed the party, having promised to attend. They are all on our shit-list.

Shame.

NATHAN AKA WINSTON BURBANK: “I AM THE GREATEST MALE TALENT EVER! PEOPLE BOW TO MY MAGNIFICIENT PENIS!”

Fayner Posts: Winston thinks he’s so damn super cool ’cause hot chicks suck him off all the time. Normally, sure, I’d be a little jealous, we all would, but when one thinks about how the hot chicks need to get paid in order to put their mouth on his lovely, sweaty, throbbing cock, I became a lot less jealous.

"All the biggest stars have serviced me!" Winston has been known to shout. "Every one of them would do it for free, too! That is how amazing my penis is. Should I start naming names here? I mean, I could go on and on naming all the gorgeous women who melted with first glance of what I pack in my $3.99 Target slacks!"

Winston seems to even walk taller these days. His normal expression of fear has been replaced by one of a tiger on the loose for the next slut who needs a dick to service in order to get paid.

"My Yahoo group has just passed 50,000 members! That sure is a lot of guys loving Winston Burbank, I tell you that. I am amazing in every way."

EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS OF NATHAN AKA WINSTON BURBANK’S NEW GIRLFRIEND!

 

WHY IS THIS MAN SEATED WITH JESSE JANE NOT SMILING?

BECAUSE HE ONLY HAS EYES FOR ONE WOMAN!

AND WE GOT THE PICTURES OF HER!!!

ISN’T SHE SEXY? NATHAN LOVES HER SO MUCH HE HAS HIS WAY WITH HER TWICE A DAY!

 

NATHAN CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF HER SEXY CURVES AND SLEEK DESIGN!

THERE’S A TERM FOR NATHAN’S ODD FETISH…

mechaphilia (noun):  sexual attraction to inanimate objects, machines, robots, etc

what a fucking freak!!!!!

NATE JOINS MYSPACE.COM!!!!

 

I’M A LITTLE KID STUCK IN A BUBBLE!!!!

 

 

TMFR WRITES:

Nathan Hall/Winston Burbank a.k.a stoner on myspace.com!!!

Came into my room last night and asked if I can take a picture for him for myspace.com!!!

TR: Doing what?

WB: Smokin herb!!!

TR: You don’t have a pic of yourself smokin herb already????

WB: NO!!!!

TR: If your such a stoner you would already have pictures of you smokin herb!!!

WB: Seriously, do you have a bowl and a camera???

TR: You want me to pack you a bowl, take a picture, find my usb to download the picture, and find the battery charger????

WB: Is it that complicated!

TR: YUP!!! I’M A STONER!!! With a puppy that acts like a ferret!!! She jacks everything and brings it to her kennel!!!

WB: Did you check the kennel???

TR: DUH! I’M SO NOT DOING THIS RIGHT NOW!!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!

P.S. Someone the next day took pics of him on set gettin high!!! I found a disc of like 25 pics of just him smokin herb!!!! I have the real exclusive pics of nate dawg!!!! THAT’S A HOLLER!!!

TMFR

OWNER, WRITER, AND EDITOR

WINSTON BURBANK WINS THE LOTTERY!!!!!

Fayner Posts: This is God-damned exciting. It’s not every day I get to say that I know a lottery winner. I only know one other lottery winner, but his dog has a rash on it’s ass and I don’t know what to think of that.

Winston Burbank is the cheapest man on Earth. A 12-year-old orphan from Somalia spends more money than him. He admits that when he’s called for a job he instantly envisions himself putting the money in his bank account. When he heard about Keith spending $100 on steaks the other night he started dry-heaving.

I hope this has shown you how cheap Winston is.

Now is Taylor’s turn…

TMFR Posts:

Winston comes home and comes upstairs to our room and asks me for a bowl and gives me the excuse I’ve been on set all day with NO WEED!!!!I say, "Bullshit everyone smokes weed if they are on a porn set all day long!!!!"

Anyways, Keith was trying to find a USB cable for my camera and also finding a cord to my hp printer! He was going through a bunch of random boxes with wires and a bunch shit was all over the place. Then he pulls out this bose system box with a bunch of coins in it!!!

TR: BABY WHAT IS THAT????

KEITH: It’s a bunch of coins!!!! Here’s a freezer bag full of quarters too!!!

NATE: SWEET!!!

TR: SWEET! Let’s go to Vegas and use them in the slot machines!!!!

KEITH: BABY YOU KNOW WE ONLY TAKE THE BENJAMINS TO VEGAS!!! Here Nate take this shit!!!

NATE: REALLY???

KEITH: YA, AND TAKE THIS BAG FULL OF QUARTERS TOO. THERE’S PROABLY 300.00 JUST IN THIS BAG!!!

TR: NATE ARE THINKING ABOUT TAKING THAT TO COINSTAR RIGHT NOW EVENTHOUGH YOU JUST GOT OFF OF WORK???

NATE: YA BUT I HAD A FEW BEERS!! CAN YOU DRIVE ME???

TR: I GET HALF!!!!J/K

NATE: FUCK THAT I WILL GO TOMORROW!!!

TR: YOU SERIOUSLY SHOULD OF BEEN A JEW!!! TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU GET WHEN YOU CASH IN YOUR LUCKY WINNINGS FUCKER!!!

Nate was one LUCKY FUCKER  last night!!!!

Also, since Keith was giving shit away last night. I gave Kelly Erikson my old 60gig I pod and some new ear phones. Also, a brand new bose system that you plug into the I pod. We have four of them and two of them were just sittin in their boxes!!! FUCK IT!!!

TMFR AND SNOT FACE (Fayner)

OWNER, WRITER, AND EDITOR

WINSTON BURBANK: I WON’T DO ON-SCREEN SEX SCENES, JUST BLOWJOBS AND HANDJOBS

Fayner Posts: The world needs Winston Burbank’s wonderful penis.

Up until about 5 minutes ago I thought Burbank AKA Nate AKA Nate Dogg AKA Nathan AKA Lil’ Smokie was not gonna do anymore scenes ever again. The attention he’s gotten from the three he’s done is too much for him to handle.

Or so I thought.

Winston just informed that he will in fact share his cock with the eager public BUT only in BJ and HJ scenes.

Amazing.

Rejoice! Celebrate! Feast!

Contact TMFR to book him

BREAKING NEWS.. WINSTON BURBANK AT IT AGAIN

Nate Dawg aka Winston Burbank is in top secret negotiations to jump into a POV Blowjob scene for none other than A MYSTERY COMPANY?????

After seeing Winstons collosal penis exclusively here on Lukeford, They just had to get some of that massive penis in there movie, negotiations are fast and furious, heated as well!!

Also, if you would like to book him . ALL HIS BOOKINGS GO THROUGH TAYLOR RAIN AGENCY!!!! Book him he has a massive penis!!!! HOLLER 420!!!

P.S. HE DOES NOT DO INTERACIAL!!!!

Isn’t that a face you could just take home to mom???
TR just wants to squish those little cheekers!!