CELEBRATE THE END OF BLACK HISTORY MONTH WITH OUR EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH GHETTO-FABULOUS DIRECTOR MASON DIXON FROM THE ZERO TOLERANCE SIDEKICK BLACK ICE PICTURES
MASON DIXON IS STRAIGHT-UP A DIM-WIT, IS NO STRANGER TO OUR PENAL SYSTEM AND ALWAYS CARRIES A GUN TO THE LIQUOR STORE…
BASICALLY OUR KIND OF GUY!
PART ONE
FAYNER Hey dawg, is this a bad time to talk?
DIXON You mean to conversate? Naw, it’s cool.
FAYNER What’cha doing? Smoking crack?
DIXON Naw, just drinkin’, you know what I’m saying? I had my bitch over at my crib, you know what I’m saying? We made plans to watch What’s Happenin’? together, but my moms calls me up, got attacked by some pit bulls or some shit outside of her church, so I tells my bitch she gots to go! and I went down to the store to get me some malt liquor, you know what I’m saying? The Asian clerk was all trippin’ out ‘cause I got no loot and had to stick my piece in his face so he knows who he’s fucking with, you know what I’m saying?
FAYNER Are you saying you use a gun as currency? And if so, is this a good thing, a virtuous path that should be emulated? And I only ask ‘cause I know you’ve done some time for your crimes, and I’d hate to see some smart black kid ruin his life trying to be like you.
DIXON Violence is my reality, you know what I’m saying? And the fools on the street know not to step to me ‘cause I’m a bad motherfucker. I did my time on a murder rap.
FAYNER You actually killed someone?
DIXON Yeah, you know what I’m saying? But it ain’t that bad. The guy was already shot before I got there. I’m pretty sure he was already dead, and I was just showing off for my homies by pulling out my gun and shooting him.
FAYNER How did you get caught?
DIXON I forgot to get rid of the gun, and the cops matched it to the bullets in the sucka’s chest.
FAYNER I guess a gangsta gots to do what a gangsta gots to do, right? Shit. And I am feeling you, dawg, I am, and I respect the grittiness in your need to be real, but I feel that you – and a hearty portion of black men in America – spread to the young brothas the belief that if you want something you don’t need to work for it as long as you got a gun, and that being known on the block and dressing fly and inciting fear is more valuable than an education. I mean, with this being Black History Month, do you feel as though you’re a good role model to the bright-eyed young bloods in need of direction?
DIXON Fuck that, you know what I’m saying? I don’t hardly think about helping out other blacks anyway, not as much as I do about getting even with white people. I don’t understand why more blacks don’t look to whitey for what they want, I mean it’s only fair that we even out the playing field, you know what I’m saying?
FAYNER I think I do. Are you saying that you’re really fucking stupid?
DIXON Hey, I ain’t book smart, you won’t catch me reading People Magazine or some literary shit like that, but I’m street smart, you know what I’m saying?
FAYNER Street Smart?? Didn’t you just say you shot a dead guy and went to jail for it because you kept the gun and got caught with it? God damn! Whatever, just tell me about your new job shooting porno.
DIXON Yeah, it’s my new vocation. When you’re behind bars you find yourself thinking about pussy. All the time. And when I got out I had plans to continue with my music, but after I went through all the trouble stealing a great old song and laying my rhymes over it I found out that Tone Loc pinched the exact same song like 20 years ago and rapped over it about some whore.
