This story all but writes itself. Seriously. I still can’t believe the bullshit I just read. I know a lot of you fuckers will go bitching and moaning because I’m so mean blah blah blah. But you know what? I don’t give a fuck. Somebody needs to call people out on their fucking bullshit and today I have a whopper of a story for you.
I was reading a story over at AdultFYI about a girl who quit porn because she really ever did it. The girls name is Lexi Blade and she was a girl selected as the Penthouse Pet for February 2009. Adult FYI got the story from a website called The Improper. Now if you read this story, there are a few factoids that stand out. What amazes me is this story went to print without anyone bothering to check out such obvious lies. But first let’s post the story so you can see for yourself.
Penthouse Pet Lexi Blade Swears Off Porn Career
Can a Penthouse magazine Pet of the Month find credibility and a career in New York City? Lexi Blade thinks she can – and without doing porn!
“While it seems that many Pets go into the adult industry, it’s definitely not what I want to do,” she says. “I moved to New York City to take advantage of all the creative opportunities and Penthouse was another way to express myself.” Can she keep her clothes on?
Blade, 20, is one of the top searches on Google and will debut in the magazine’s Feburary issue. Penthouse claims that people are calling and writing asking when they can see the photos of her. Already she receives several dozen emails a day on MySpace.
Blade, who has moved to New York City, says she making it clear that she is ready to do business, just not that kind of business.
“While being in Penthouse was fun,” says Lexi, “I’m looking forward to sitting down and working on my lingerie line. I believe that there is a lack of good American-based women’s lingerie that expresses the unique sensuality of American women.”
She notes that there are some great products from the UK and other European countries, but that the choice of affordable and sexy lingerie made in the United States is very limited. “It seems that many women are torn between buying really unattractive lingerie made by department stores, or spending their entire paycheck on something from Europe. I want to produce something that shows that American women are the most beautiful women in the world.”
Publicist Jules Feiler says Lexi is “definitely the All-American, Girl-Next-Door type that people will love to know more about. Women can identify with her aspirations to make something of herself, while also expressing her sensuality as a centerfold.”
“I think almost every woman in America at some time dreams of being a centerfold. It’s part of our great American tradition.”
She sees that while not every woman can be in Penthouse, “there are so many beautiful women in this country that can be a centerfold for a night with their husband. Lighting some candles, putting some sexy lingerie on and perhaps taking some private photos are always exciting for any couple!“
Now that we all know the story let’s tear it apart. It doesn’t take a genius to do such a thing. Right off the bat something with the story doesn’t sit right and that’s the factt hat someone who has never been IN PORN, needed to issue a statement about not being IN PORN.
Next thing that caught my attention was this little doozie of a line … “Blade, 20, is one of the top searches on Google”. SERIOUSLY? DID NOBODY THINK TO CHECK THAT FACT? HELLO? ARE YOU REALLY THAT FUCKING STUPID?
Who the fuck has ever ever ever heard of Lexi Blade? And now suddenly this bitch thinks she is more popular that say Britney Spears? Who is by the way a top Google search or even Paris Hilton or fucking Kevin Federline. Now if you just compare her to other porn stars, she’s still not even in the top 1000. In fact, according to Word Tracker she has had a whopping 38 fucking people search for her ass. THIRTY EIGHT. So the bitch can’t be all THAT popular if only 38 people are searching for her, so now how is she top in google searches? TOP OF WHAT? Stupid lying bitches? For fuck sakes, her myspace page shows she has less than 500 friends. There are 300 pound, fat housewives that have more friends than that.
Now let us continue ….. because this story is so chopped full of lies and bullshit I just can’t believe my eyes. The next little whopper of a story is that with her all of 493 friends on MySpace,“Already she receives several dozen emails a day on MySpace.” Really? This chick really gets 25 or more emails a day on MySpace? Because I know people way more famous than her by massive leaps and bounds that tell me on average they get about that many per week. So how can someone that nobody has really heard of get so many? Oh wait maybe her MySpace page will tell us that. Here she says on her MySpace page “Please, guys, stop sending me emails saying “Wut’s up” or “Will ya get down wit me?” I love letters, but please take the time to be respectful and write something half-intelligent. Feel free to ask me real questions about anything, sports, x-box, UFC, travel…“. Even if that is all people were saying I still call bullshit on this lie. No way more than 24 people a week know write to her about anything. There just aren’t enough people in the world that kn ow her fucking name to write her that often in a week.
Now here is a great one. “Penthouse claims that people are calling and writing asking when they can see the photos of her.” Really? Penthouse wants us to believe that despite that fact that nobody has ever heard of this chick, somehow people are writing and calling asking for photos? Ya we are so buying that bullshit. I mean wouldn’t it be more believable if they were calling in or writing to see photos of someone famous? Or at least someone semi-famous? Or fuck something that anyone has heard of before? But I repeat WHO THE FUCK IS LEXI BLADE?
She has almost no searches on the Internet. She has almost no MySpace friends. And how she issues a press release to say she’s leaving her porn past behind her after posing nude for a porn magazine that has yet to even be released. I’m so fucking confused how anyone would ever publish such blatent lies let alone thing any fucker would be dumb enough to believe them.
So in closing I have this little tidbit of news for you miss Lexi Blade and your dumb whore of a publicist who helped you write up this press release ….
LEXI BLADE YOU POSED IN PENTHOUSE, NOT PLAYBOY. THAT MEANS YOU ARE IN PORN AND FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE THAT WILL BE PART OF YOUR HISTORY. TENS OF THOUSANDS OF WEBSITES ACROSS THE INTERNET WHO ARE AFFILIATES WILL TAKE YOUR PHOTOS AND DISPLAY THEM ON YOUR WEBSITE AND YOUR NAKED BODY WITH YOUR LEGS SPREAD WIDE OPEN AND YOUR PUSSY RIGHT THERE FOR ALL TO SEE. SO BEFORE YOU GO TURNING UP YOUR NOSE AS THOSE PORN PEOPLE OR “THAT” INDUSTRY AS YOU PUT IT, JUST REMEMBER WE ALL HAVE SEEN YOUR PUSSY TOO.