The world of the PR firm

I will tell you now, everything you are about to read is me just randomly bitching about the stupidity of some people. So if you don’t like my opinions stop fucking reading them dumb asses. Now that being said, let’s move on to my rant of the day ……………..

Every good porn star knows she needs to line up a deal with a solid PR firm to promote her career. That without proper PR she’s just another nameless face is a sea of whores. Well maybe not that bad, but the girls making the big bucks realize the huge value to a good PR agent.

That being said, what passes for a PR firm in our industry sometimes makes my stomach turn.

I get roughly 100 press releases a week, so needless to say I’m quite versed in what passes for a good press release and what needs some serious help.

Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!

I love when PR firms are so full of shit about themselves. I recall reading a press releasing about the merging of two big PR firms and yet how does one define “big”? Apparently by having two clients. 2!!!!! That’s big? Damn people, I get your job is to make everything sound fucking great, but that’s just beyond fucking funny. You could just say two great PR minds are merging, you don’t have to flat out lie to our faces and try and pretend like you are some New York Wall street power houses. Now that I’ve caught them in a blatant lie, I’m going to question everything out of their mouths. That is why big fat lies in your press releases are always a bad idea. You would think an experienced PR firm would know that.  But let’s move on.

Text is your friend!

By now it should be obvious to most people who aren’t dumb asses, that the easier you make it for people to post your press release, the more likely they are to do it.  In a day of viruses and exploits, the last thing a person running a website wants to do is download an attachment sent via an email.  Anyone who doesn’t know that is just flat out a fucking dumb ass.

But if they don’t take the risk and download your attachments and hope for the best, they are stuck either having to type up your entire press release on their own or just flat out not posting it.  Guess what I chose?  That’s right fuckers.  I have never, nor will I ever hand type your press release for me to post it.  Nor will I ever download any attachment any fucker sends me via email so I could just copy and paste it.    You need to learn that when it comes to press releases, YOU SHOULD INCLUDE THE TEXT OF IT IN THE BODY OF THE EMAIL.

There is this one chick who sends out press releases and to the left she includes all these little graphics about the latest movie the porn star is in and blah blah.  But you know what she has in the middle?  THE TEXT THAT SHE WANTS YOU TO POST SO YOU CAN JUST COPY AND PASTE!

About Me or About You

I know that most people just assume we all know everything there ever is to know about you, but trust me, we don’t.  Even if we do, or could just easily look it up on the internet, often times we are so busy we don’t have the extra time to put in all that work so if we wanted to write a nice little story about you, we can’t because you didn’t bother to provide us with basic information about yourself in your last press release.

A huge mistake so many companies make is not including the very crucial ABOUT section of their press release.  This ABOUT section should include the very basic information about the porn star in question including her website address and twitter page.

Here is a press release I just got about Lupe Fuentes.  They had a great ABOUT section.

About Lupe Fuentes: This 4’9” Latina dynamo is a classically trained ballerina, competed in synchronized swimming and studied a plethora of styles of dance while growing up in Madrid, Spain has always had a deep appreciation of the human form.  She began her modeling and acting career simultaneously in high school and became an instant success landing placements in Spanish teen fashion campaigns, Billboards and pop culture magazines, and Spanish mainstream film, resulting in the “Lupe Fuentes Phenomenon” with her secret desire to show the world her body.  The adult publications soon reached out to her and she responded immediately, leading the foray into the adult entertainment side of the industry.  Lupe can be seen on the upcoming cover of American Curves Magazine, distributed nationwide in Wal-Mart and newsstands everywhere. Check out Lupe’s blog at and check out her column “Ask Lupe” at

Now this person knows how to write a press release.  I actually post his press releases a lot because that fucker knows what it takes to make it easy for me to post his shit.  He goes out of his way to provide me what I need to make a blog post about whatever shit pushing that day.

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