“I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”
— George Burns
“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
— George Burns
“There’s nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.”
— George Burns
Midway through a game of golf one hot summer day, Harpo Marx and George Burns elected to finish the round without their shirts. Upon returning to the clubhouse, they were rather pointedly reminded of a rule forbidding members from playing topless.
“That’s an outrage,” Burns protested. “We can go swimming on a public beach without a top, why do we have to wear one here?” “Sorry,” said the manager. “A rule is a rule.”
The next day the pair reappeared on the course and played 18 holes wearing shirts as required. News of the pair’s outrageous appearance, however, soon reached the manager, who intercepted the jokers on the 18th green demanding to be given an explanation.
“You were right,” Harpo declared. “The rules say you have to wear a shirt, but they don’t say a word about wearing pants!”