Luke Ford

Fayner Posts: It’s been a tough Monday for me. Nothing really on television at all and that makes me sad.

I came across a show called Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo. Low and behold, there was SexToy Dave, owner of SexToy.com, asking the matchmaking lady for help finding love.

And although he didn’t say the quote below, I could see in his eyes that this is how he truly felt:

“Oh, my life is so tough, I’m super rich in Hollywood and the only thing I don’t have is love. You think going hungry sucks, try having a twenty person hottub with no one to share it with!”

The matchmaking lady went to his place and laughed at Dave’s stripper pole and stripper pole moves. She was shocked someone with so much money would have such little class as to have a stripper pole right there by the front door. I for one think it is a wonderful idea.

So basically SexToy Dave has made his way through all the Hollywood whores and is now looking for true love. Let’s all pray for him that he finds it before the writer’s strike ends and the show is cancelled.

Fayner Posts: I asked y’all to guess what I made my holiday cookie to look like, and here are some of your guesses.

1) Your christmas cookie looks like a butt plug!!!! - nikki hilton

2) Im pretty sure that you decorated the cookie like a new era hat with the streets of SF on it and the stadium is a star or the red sprinkle thing.

3) Ok there Mr. Fayner, I think I have an idea as to what your mystery cookie message might be. It seems you are surrounded by ‘green minded’ tree hugging types who are conscious of recycling and emissions etc.. and you are the lone standout among them. Not caring anything about what they stand for or what they care about, you are a constant reminder to them that you are in many ways different from them… a red-headed step child of sorts. (hence the red-icing?) Yet they still put up with you and still hold your hands in that line of friendship (or at least feel sorry for you that you’re so very very different). Unfortunately, we think alike Fayner. Hahahaha… enjoy your holiday cookies. I hope I win. -Loyal TMFR fan, Tom C.

4) There are little green stick men drawn into a triangular shape where one stick man is red, and a splatter of red paint is put into the middle. The painting must be associated with hannukkah, since it is not Christmas.

5) The decoration represents a dreidel, or maybe it’s just a vagina ..?

6) its a bunch on nigs (the brown gingerbread cookies) and you (the red one)

7) it is a West Coast Productions - bukkake line on the front of the infield at Dodger Stadium

NONE OF YOU WERE RIGHT. THE CORRECT ANSWER IS: A BUNCH OF BLACK MEN RUNNING A TRAIN ON A NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN.

SORRY, BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME

THIS IS CONVICTED CHILD PREDATOR RANDALL SHESTO…

AND THIS IS PORN DIRECTOR KEVIN MOORE

[ed note: The guy above who got convicted of luring underage chicks is not Kevin Moore. They just look very much alike so I invented this. Whatever makes me laugh at 7:43 a.m. is what goes on the site...]

KEVIN MOORE WRITES IN: people keep asking me this morning 
if I'm pissed about being compared to a child molester... 
I keep telling them I'm pissed at the photo. That is a terrible photo
of me. Where the hell did you find that? That's gotta be over 5 
years old.

thanks for the love...

WAUKESHA, Wis. — A 21-year-old heavy-metal musician convicted of having sex with a 15-year-old was banned from playing in public for five years by a judge who said he used music to win the favor of underage girls.

Randall Shesto II of Waukesha, described in Internet postings as having performed with a band called Nailwounds, was convicted in June of second-degree sexual assault of a child. He had been accused of having a sexual encounter with an underage girl last December whom he met through MySpace.com.

He was also convicted this year of having sex with another 15-year-old girl.

Waukesha County Circuit Judge Ralph Ramirez sentenced Shesto to 2 1/2 years of prison and 2 1/2 years of extended supervision, but stayed the term and placed Shesto on probation for five years. He was also ordered to serve a year in jail — including one month behind bars and 11 months on work release.

“You love your music,” the judge told the defendant. “Your music has been the tool by which you have ingratiated your way into the lives of these girls. You may not play in a band in any public appearances during the term of your probationary period. I’m taking away from you the tools by which you worked your misdeeds, sir.”

Shesto was ordered by Ramirez to register as a sex offender and told that, while he is on probation, he cannot have access to the Internet or a cell phone unless approved by his probation agent.

SAMMIE RHODES

NIKKI HILTON

SASHA GREY

WHITNEY STEVENS

Vote to your right and up (look right and up dumbass) for any one of these chicks until 8 AM tomorrow

YESTERDAY’S WINNER!

MAYA HILLS

REMEMBER: THE FINAL WINNER GETS $1,500 CASH!!!