Luke Ford

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Archive for October 15th, 2007

Fayner Posts: I stopped by Barrett and Kirsten’s house today to say hello since we live like two blocks from each other and it would be rude if we didn’t see each other once in a while.

Plus, Barrett and I are both old men, so once a week we enjoy sipping lemonade in his backyard while talking about “the good old days…”

And as an old man, my memory isn’t what it once was, so I was amazed when Kirsten told me they just celebrated their THIRD year of marriage! Wow, three years is a long, long time, and its funny ’cause these two still act like newlyweds if you ask me but you didn’t.

Just wondering: Is three years the record for marriage in the porno business? Although I know it is not, it must be at least in the top ten, right?

Also, I took a look at their growing shelf of trophies, think they may need to find a new place to put them all now that Barrett just brought home the Best Actor award at the Nightmoves show. Good for him.

It’s difficult to say who was squirming the most - Terry Wogan or the TV viewers.

The BBC veteran presented Sunday’s Points of View in a pair of moleskin trousers which clung relentlessly to a certain area and left little to the imagination.

The corporation has received a flurry of complaints about 69-year-old Sir Terry’s wardrobe malfunction.

terry woganAnd the Linford Christie award for worst supporting trousers goes to Sir Terry

Enlarge the image

And there was speculation that he might be forced to report on the widespread dismay in the next edition of the audience feedback programme - not to mention Auntie’s Bloomers, his show featuring TV faux pas.

Viewers were initially placed at ease when the avuncular Irishman appeared on screen in jacket, shirt and tie for the teatime show - well before the 9pm watershed.

But then the camera panned down to reveal mustard-coloured slacks which offered him little in the way of, ahem, support and evoked memories of sprinter Linford Christie’s infamous ‘lunchbox’.

Even Sir Terry’s most ardent female fans appear to have found the experience a little unsettling, if the BBC’s on-line message boards are to be believed.

One said: “I have just watched Points of View with my daughter and my husband. When the camera panned out on Terry Wogan, I didn’t know where to look.

“Both my daughter and I (who are in no way prudish) were totally embarrassed to see Terry with very revealing trousers on. I’m sure we can’t have been the only ones to notice.”

A fan of Sir Terry, who earns £800,000 a year, leapt to his defence, saying: “I think the cameraman was taking the proverbial.

“Terry isn’t usually framed that way. He probably thought it was the usual waist-up shot and wasn’t giving a thought to the lunchbox.”

Another added: “Can’t the man have a mid-life crisis in peace? In the animal kingdom such displays often attract a willing mate.”

Sir Terry, who was knighted in 2005, appeared to be taking the furore in his usual light-hearted manner yesterday on his Radio 2 breakfast show. He read out a message from a listener which asked him if he had borrowed the trousers or whether he had got ’someone else to fill them in other vital areas’.

It advised: “Try crossing your legs when in full shot - if you can do that without wincing. Try something a little more roomy in the which-side-do-you-dress department and try not to sneeze.”

Wogan insisted they were his own trousers and defiantly added: “Everybody’s an expert - you can’t appear on television without a crowd of idiots telling you look like something the cat dragged in.”

This is the latest controversy for Wogan after he was criticised for being paid to present the Children In Need charity event. He received nearly £10,000 for fronting the seven-hour show in 2005.

Earlier this year he also came under fire when he blundered on the results show for the UK entrant into the Eurovision Song Contest by announcing the wrong winner.

Wogan and co- host Fearne Cotton simultaneously announced different winners.

From Here: In a stomach churning, yet predictable turn of events, Paris Hilton has been spotted partying with Pamela Anderson’s ex-husband Kid Rock over the weekend.

The 26-year-old heiress reportedly hooked up with the tattooed muso at a night club in Toronto.

The pair’s late night date comes just a week after Anderson wed Hilton’s porn video partner, Rick Salomon, in Las Vegas.

In 2003 Salomon, 39, cashed in after the sex tape he made with Hilton ‘On Night In Paris’ was leaked onto the web.

Anderson, 40, was married to 36-year-old Rock in a brief four month marriage which ended in November last year.

Paris is in Canada making her new musical film,’Repo!’ while Rock played at a gig there on Saturday.

October 15, 2007

SPENDING SUNDAY SOBER Author: Scott Fayner

Fayner Posts: So I’ve been sober off drugs for a while now. It’s not fun. But I still smoke weed and occasionally have a drink. Sunday I smoked resin. It’s not fun.

First off, thanks to my new Bloodhound puppy named Sara Wiggles Rib Eye, I now wake up at 7 a.m., pretty much on the dot. Sara makes sure of that by slobbering all over me until I get out of bed. There was once upon a time that I would still be out being a dumbass at 7 a.m. Those days are gone :(

So what do I do all day?

Coax naive porno sluts into servicing me for free?

Blow cocaine up some naive porno slut’s asshole?

Sleep off another wild weekend?

No.

I sat on the couch with Alaura Eden watching a whole season of PROJECT: RUNWAY. Yeah, that’s right.

Around noon I said to Dez and Alaura: “A year ago we’d be just getting home from some crazy party! Now look at us! Lame!”

“Fuck that!” Dez shouted. “Maybe you were just getting home, but I was too busy talking some whore into coming home with me and Alaura!”

Whatever, I told him, we’re fucking lame.

So in case you were wondering, the gay guy didn’t win the competition. An Asian chick did.

I turned to Alaura: “Hey, you have a fashion degree! You’re Asian! You should go out for the show!”

Alaura: “We are so lame.”

October 15, 2007

MALE SAC OCTOBER 15, 2007 Author: Scott Fayner

Hi Scott,

I just finished reading your memories of Wanker Wang,for that stuff doesn’t surprise me about him,since I once exchanged two e-mails with him,and found him to be an odd but okay dude,although the shocking accusations sound to be true,and I was wondering if that kiddie pool incident that you’re describing was from around the time when Wanker was still associated with Extreme Associates(who were proudly doing kiddie pool porn and peeing sessions around that time period with Kid Vegas),and yes I do vividly remember when Wanker was a PC geek who was very shy when he was Ex. As’ webmaster and when he was trying to pick up on this chick whose name I can’t remember(she was like Taylor Rain[except her name was Ashley something],was around 18,and she smoked a lot of pot)when they had their own separate non-Ex. As. booth/hotels at two different Vegas hotels(away from the AVN Expo[when they were banned by AVN]),and then started becoming hardcore when he was LukeFord.com’s webmaster(after Luke left it,and before you came along and began to own the site).

And the fucking mainstream media needs to get their facts straight,for they’re heavily slamming the hell out of Brian Surewood and saying all kinds of crazy inaccurate stuff(such as changing around which car crashed into that Indian family,and which child in that family died),thanks to him being in porn(knowing how much the mainstream media hates the porn industry),even though mainstream celebrity Rebecca Gayheart had a similar accident a few years back(and accidently killed the person she ran over)but she walked with just a slap on the wrist and probation,and I now hear that Orlando Bloom got into a similar smash-up,as well(he’ll easily walk).

BTW:your stuff about Rhiannon Bray was pretty hilarious(saying she’s so ugly that your dog is better loooking than her ),for I met that chick once at a fetish party(one of the early Footnight parties)and found her to be a real freak(I got drunk and naked with her,although nothing sexual happened due to myself being way too drunk and out-of-it)and an absolute bitch(with lots of mood swings),for I wonder whatever happened to that Rhiannon chick(she seems to have completely disappeared).

Take Care,

Steven

October 15, 2007

A MOMENT WITH LISA MARIE Author: Scott Fayner

Fayner: What are these?

Lisa Marie: Monopoly pieces from McDonalds.

Fayner: Where is the food?

Lisa Marie: I found a McDonalds cup on the sidewalk.

Fayner: You did what??

Lisa Marie: Yeah, why not? I could have won a million dollars!

Fayner: Really? Do you truly believe that?

Lisa Marie: No. But I could have won an Egg McMuffin!

Fayner: Did you?

Lisa Marie: No, but I got Park Place! All I need is Boardwalk and I win a million bucks!

Fayner: Yeah, Lisa, you and everyone else. Maybe you should set your sights a little lower.

Lisa Marie: That’s what I’m saying! C’mon Egg McMuffin!

You are currently browsing the Luke Ford weblog archives for the day Monday, October 15th, 2007.

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