Fayner Posts: Just got back from my two week vacation where I only checked the internet once. I’m not sure if this Haley Paige death thing is true or not, but I decided to repost the interview I did with her back in January of 2006.

FAYNER Where are you from? Cleveland? Kenya?

HAILEY PAIGE I was born in Mexico in a tiny little mining town. I moved to California when I was around 12.

FAYNER Weren’t your parents in a cult? Were they into UFOs?

HAILEY PAIGE No. It was a cult, but not like that. My parents were missionaries. My mother is still involved in it so I shouldn’t really say much, but it is funny how people can be brainwashed so easily.

FAYNER Speaking of your mom, I saw in a picture that she has some killer tits. Huge! And she’s like what,…

HAILEY PAIGE 70 years old. It gives me hope that these things here (her fabulous chest) will survive…

FAYNER Tell me about the lovely year you spent in Australia.

HAILEY PAIGE I got a job doing pr for a travel web site. I went to Hawaii for 2 months. Everything was great. Then we went New Zealand. The guy I was working for, who up until then was a perfect boss, all of a sudden flipped out and stole my passport, credit cards and money and told me I wasn’t allowed to leave his site. My Emails were screened. But we were doing so many fun things that I didn’t really mind for a while.

FAYNER Fun things? Like having sex?

HAILEY PAIGE It was not about that. It was an obsession. The funny part was that my parents didn’t even care. He’d use how they never emailed me against me: “They don’t even love you!”

FAYNER So how did you finally escape?

HAILEY PAIGE I had become super depressed. Homesick. Crying for 2 months straight. I guess it got to him ‘cause one day he called my father and said “send her a ticket.” That was it. When I got back I didn’t even tell my dad what had happened.

FAYNER Any emotional scars from this?

HAILEY PAIGE I’m sure I do! But I don’t deal with things. Ever. That’s my problem.

FAYNER Sounds healthy. So tell me about your brother.

HAILEY PAIGE My older brother is currently in Corcoran prison. That’s where Charlie Manson is. He’s served 12 years on a 100 years to life sentence for 1^st Degree murder. He bashed some guys head with a rock and killed him. I doubt he will ever get out. The worst part is he has a son he’s never met.

FAYNER More importantly is whether he is still sportin’ the mustache like in the picture I saw of him.

HAILEY PAIGE He still has the mustache.

FAYNER Fucking cool. I want a mustache. How’d you get into porn?

HAILEY PAIGE I came home broke from Australia.

FAYNER What??? I thought hostages got paid for their time? No?

HAILEY PAIGE Anyway, I always knew that if I wanted to I could do porno. It was always in the back of mind.

FAYNER Porno chicks have minds? Just kidding. Here’s a funny thing about you I bet no one knew. You never gave head before your first on-screen sex scene.

HAILEY PAIGE That’s true. Can you believe it? It took some practice, but luckily I have these great lips and that made it easier on me. I practiced a lot.

FAYNER And from what my dick tells me it sure paid off! Are you mad now ‘cause missed out on all them years of sucking dick?

HAILEY PAIGE Yeah, kind of. It would have come in handy I’m sure somewhere down the line.

FAYNER Oh, it does. Trust me! So where on your wonderful body do you prefer the load to be shot?

HAILEY PAIGE Well right now I have a foot fetish, so I like it on my toes and then I lick it up.

FAYNER What about last week?

HAILEY PAIGE Last week I liked it on my boobs.

FAYNER And the week before that?

HAILEY PAIGE Before that it was in my mouth.

FAYNER Good girl. Ever have a chick lover?

HAILEY PAIGE Yeah, I had a girlfriend for about a year when I was 17. Her name was Marsela, and her family was Mormon. We had a whole thing in common with the weird family religion. She had a shaved head, she was beautiful. I miss her.

FAYNER What happened?

HAILEY PAIGE She left me for a Mormon guy. I was devastated. I haven’t dated a woman since.

FAYNER Last question: Did you used to think that cats and dogs were the same animal?

HAILEY PAIGE Yes. But I was very young. I thought that cats were female dogs and dogs were male dogs. That’s why I can never get a female dog or a male cat.

FAYNER You’ve truly lived a tough life. Growing up without a female dog …  How very sad!!! Oh, yeah, and the hostage thing and the brother in jail thing and the psycho parents things too. They must have also been rough.

HAILEY PAIGE Are we done yet?

Actually, someone owes Kevin Moore the ‘Genius of the Week Award’

I wonder what distributors will think of a title with a production date dating back as far as 18 months ago? 3 of the 5 scenes were shot over 12 months ago, and the ‘newest’ scene of the 5 is approaching 10 months old.

What will distributors PAY for an 18 month old title? IVD might pay $3, GVA might pay $4 – if its really good!!! And you can give them any slick story you want, but the bottom line is they look at the DOP and base decisions on that. Titles with an 18 month old DOP are generally viewed by distributors as being a catalog title.

Why would anyone shoot a scene 18 months ago and hold on to it for a year and a half? Unlike a fine wine, scenes do not hold their value with age. The older a scene gets the less value it has.

Make a nice box cover, throw a hip and new styled title/genre on the cover and inside cram it with old scenes. Porn at its’ best.

Fayner posts: Funny seeing a press release today issued by Kevin Moore for his title called First Person Shooter. If you want to know the difference between POV and FPS, read below.

FROM THE LUKEFORD ARCHIVES – 8-22-2007

Fayner Posts: One would think this Dynamic Duo would have peaked with last year’s wildly popular WHORECRAFT.NET (now WHORELORE.COM), a porn-meets-fantasy adult series that gained Worldwide attention for its originality and superb attention to costumes, scripts and detail.

But now Dez and Alaura offer FPSPorn.com, the first-of-its-kind First Person Shooter Porn starring Jessica Jaymes.

Episode One is available now for download for about $7.

Basically, if you’ve even dreamed of being a SWAT guy who kills the bad guys then gets serviced by the pretty damsel in distress, then this is your Holy Bible.

Enjoy bitches.

Repeat, this is not an exercise.

This is real life, people. Real guns, real criminals and real blood.

If you’re looking for simulated bad guys and a hearty pat on the back from your instructor, you’re in the wrong place.

All your training has prepared you for this moment, and this moment only, so get your game faces on.

The plan is simple: get in, take down the bad guys, confiscate the drugs and save the girl.

You have no one to trust but yourself and your gun.

One way in. One way out.

It’s either total success or complete failure: There is no room for error.

Load ‘em up, boys.

THE Prince of Wales will today open the only public garden in Britain to be allowed to grow cannabis.

The Prince will officially open the second phase of The Alnwick Garden, in Alnwick, Northumberland, which includes the UK’s only public poison garden, growing plants such as cannabis and coca under lock and key.

Earlier in the day, Charles will visit Alnwick Castle, where he will present the country’s only Territorial armoured reconnaissance regiment with its first consecrated flag.

The first phase of The Alnwick Garden, which has cost £35.1 million ($A82.04 million) to construct, was officially opened by the Prince in October 2002.

This afternoon, he will view the second phase of the project, which also contains the world’s largest wooden tree house, a unique set of water sculptures that combine physics with the arts and an imposing pavilion designed by architect Sir Michael Hopkins.

In the morning, Charles will present The Queen’s Own Yeomanry Regiment with its first regimental guidon – a flag of crimson silk damask embroidered and fringed with gold, with the regimental battle honours emblazoned upon it and the regimental emblem embroidered in the centre.

The Queen’s Own Yeomanry is a formation reconnaissance regiment in the Royal Armoured Corps and was formed in 1971.

It is made up of five sabre squadrons administered from a regimental headquarters in Newcastle-upon-Tyne.

In his role as patron of the Prince’s Trust, Charles will also meet Prince’s Trust volunteers from the North East.

Paris Hilton has stunned friends by picking up a shy pizza boy and introducing him to her parents.

The Sun reported Hilton met Alex Vaggo in a Los Angeles night club and has been “parading” him around the city as her boyfriend.

Vaggo, 20, a wannabe model, was in LA for a holiday and to earn some extra money working as a pizza delivery boy when he met Hilton, 26.

A friend told The Sun Vaggo was “smitten” and described him as a “really lucky guy”.

“He’s quite a shy, laid-back kind of guy. Paris will probably eat him alive.”

Vaggo’s mum Cecilia told the Sun: “I always knew he’d do something extraordinary with his life.”