HOW CHANUKKAH GOT ME A BLOWJOB

Fayner Posts: The good thing is there is no hell for the Jewish people. Otherwise I’d be fucked royally.

So yesterday morning I had a boner. Luckily, Lisa Marie was nearby. I asked her for a blowjob.

“Later,” she said. “I need a nap.”

“But you didn’t get me a Chanukkah gift yet! And it ends at noon today!”

After minutes of begging Lisa Marie told me to wake her up at noon for my gift. But I had to go run an errand and returned at around one. Luckily she was still asleep and didn’t realize it was past the noon deadline even though I made the whole thing up ’cause it ends tonight.

Lisa Marie was still sleepy, so I pulled the old “just stroke it” line knowing damn well she’s the kind of girl who needs it in her mouth. So she did. But me and Lisa do this thing where I say something totally funny as hell and she can’t stop laughing, and because I’m so stoned I start making jokes as she blows me. Not a good idea, ’cause all her laughing kinda knocked me off my game and I was unable to unwrap my present into her face. Damn! But Christmas is coming up and what do you know I got her an awesome gift: my dick in her face. Think she’ll love it or what?

By the way, Lisa Marie is now at Gold Star Modeling so go hire her ’cause she is quite the little cocksucker!

HO HO HO!

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