Fayner Posts: So last Wednesday was Dez’s birthday, and as a gift Keith and Taylor got him a massage over at Burke Williams spa in Sherman Oaks. Because being famous isn’t fun unless you have a friend with you, I was designated to go with Dez.

Well, TR and Staci did also come, but they only got special baths and no massages like Dez and I.

We walk into the Men’s room, and this fruity Latin guy is telling us all the things we could do before our massages: hot tub, steam room, shower, shit, shave, rub cocks, brush our teeth, etc. He leaves us in the changing room.

Dez: Should we go in the hot tub?

Fayner: I didn’t bring my bathing suit. Are supposed to go in naked? ‘Cause I don’t really want to do that.

Dez: I’m not sure. That guy in there now is naked I think.

Fayner: Fuck that! I’m just gonna eat an apple and relax. There will be no raping on spa day!

The fruity Latin guy comes in and grabs Dez. They leave. I get nervous. The guy comes back and grabs me. We leave.

Outside the room some woman with a tattoo on her arm lunges towards me, puts her hand around my neck and beings walking me down the hallway very quickly, the whole time massaging my neck and shoulders. We come to a staircase.

“What’s this?” I asked. “I thought I was getting pampered today? I have to walk up stairs!” I was obviously joking.

“Oh, you’re a tense one, aren’t you?” she answered with a question.

Inside the massage room, she tells me to get naked and get on the table. I do. The music is calm and repetitive. I’m really stoned. She begins touching me. I enjoy it. She roams free with her hands, many times getting within centimeters of my ass crack.

“Can you put on Stairway?” I ask, after she inquires about what I want. She laughs. I tell her I’m stoned. She says it was obvious because I reek like weed. Many times I feel like she wants to suck me off, but I’m too scared to ask her to. I think I’d be tossed out on my ass if I did.

Back in the dressing room, I put my clothes on quickly while no one else is around; something about naked fat hairy old guys shaking their flabby asses just makes me sick. Dez runs off to get a famous bath, while I watch men eating bananas in the hot tub.

I think about putting a note in Dez’s locker pretending I’m a guy in the spa who thinks he’s super cute, but before I can he returns from his bath and begins changing. All the other men get boners…

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