DEADJOHNNYWAD EMAILS: Oh Kurt oh Kurt oh Kurt, what happened to you?
While once you were such a good lad, a shining soldier trained to battle the most lovely of vaginas and (women’s) assholes. With your flowing hair, chisled good looks and a cock most men would kill their mother to have, you found a place in our hearts vacant for much too long.
Then, from far left field, a long, fat, slicked, vein-filled penis came into the picture, planting itself right into dear Kurt’s inviting poop-chute. And while most of us would scream in horror, ouch damn, I’ll kill you motherfucker!, you scream in pure enjoyment, begging the cock go more into your ass at a quicker rate. I may barf up the blintz im eating right now just thinking about it.
Being gay is okay with me, most other people too. We’re sympathetic and understanding. But to constantly insist its all about the pussy go and then and whore out your ass on websites catering to the gay-hookup for cash community demands a little fury from the masses on this subject. That’s me, if you didn’t figure it out yet.
So you like a little (or big) cock ramming into your poop-chute. What’s the big deal? We’re not upset at all. Why? ‘cause we knew it all along. We all did. Every one of us. Your school teachers knew, your bandmates knew, your girlfriends knew.
Can’t you just say it along with us, Kurt? Please??? It might help.
“MY NAME IS KURT AND I ENJOY COCK IN MY ASS”
Good. Now, again.
“MY NAME IS KURT AND I ENJOY COCK IN MY ASS”
And again
“MY NAME IS KURT AND I ENJOY COCK IN MY ASS”
Again
“MY NAME IS KURT AND I ENJOY COCK IN MY ASS”
No one cares about you except for gay horny men, and they only want you for your mouth and ass. Your personality and attitude, well, I think everyone could live never having to deal with that bullcrap.
So remember, Kurt Lickwood: You desire the sweaty aroma of testicles, not vagina.
I hope you guys print this email cause Kurt is a fag
Thanks.
THE DEAD JOHNNY WAD
LUKEFORD STAFF SAYS: We think he likes you, Kurt. Go suck on his balls.