Fayner Posts: I read on Luke’s site yesterday the sad tale of Jason’s first fuck flick as a director being a total piece of shit, and thought that maybe I could be of assistance to the sweet little cock craving fellow if he is given another chance behind the helm. Although Jason blames the poor editing, as someone who has watched a lot of porn I know that shitty editing does not make-or-break a movie. Much of the worst porno is edited well, as is much of the best flicks poorly edited. Sure, it’s a great excuse, but when all is said and done it comes down to the director to deliver a quality product to the shelves.

So I was thinking today while driving – Hard to believe, right? – about ways to help Jason without letting him go balls-deep on my pecker. I came up with a awesome title and premise for a fag flick and would love to give it to Jason.

So here it is (and excuse me if this has already been done. As you may know, I’m not gay and therefore not up-to-date on homosexual pornography) for Jason, or anyone else, to use. I’ll even write the script.

You know how pretty much every straight night club and bar from here to Calcutta has a man to woman ratio of about 10-to-1 at any given time? It’s called a "Sausage Party" or "Cock Fest" or "Testicle Festival", any of which would make a perfect title for this project.

So you have a bunch of guys hanging around a club and none are getting chicks ’cause there are none. Drinks are poured, followed by more drinks, and soon there’s a bunch of drunk horny dudes standing around. A couple funny dialogue segments and a gay porno of high merit is born.

Sound good? Let me know if you want me to write up a silly script for ya. If not, do with this idea as you wish. Just credit me under the name Dick Friendly, okay? I still have a reputation to uphold…

Fayner Posts: Despite all my pettiness and anger-for-the-sake-of-anger ramblings throughout my years here, I’ve always been proud of myself for two things: admitting when I’m wrong and giving credit when credit is due.

Sure, I’ve had my ups and downs with Mary Carey over the years, poked fun at her and beraded her with insults from time to time. I mean, there is a boiling point in all of us, and mine reaches its maximum after a chick continues talking about herself while sucking my dick, then months later calls me up from Florida asking me to send her cocaine and finally when she attempts to sue me for slander (libel). I’m only human.

But Mary and I continue to remain civil throughout the years. For that reason I am here giving Mary Carey props for something she recently said somewhere to someone about something.

And forgive me for not properly crediting the source of this quote, ’cause I can’t remember and refuse to use my "history" button and see which sites I’ve visited lately to correctly name the source.

It was remarked that Mary, a democrat, should not be supporting republicans by attending any of their charity dinners with Prez. Bush, to which Mary replied something to the extent of, "letting a liberal porno chick attend just shows how much republicans only care about money."

Mary is dead-on here, and it is a perfect example of their greed. One wonders who else would be given a seat at one of their charity events for the right price? Hitler? David Duke? Osama Bin Laden?

And for the record, I’m of the opinion that about 10% of people who donate to the Republican Party only send $20 and do so for the signed and framed photo of Bush and his wife so they can snort cocaine off it. I’ve personally done lines off around 10 in my day, and would send away for my very own if my check wouldn’t bounce right away.

However, every positive thing must end with a negative, and that negative is something I saw while on Mary’s campaign web site.

Under Mary’s Platform, she lists her many goals if elected, one of which being "Make strip clubs full nude with full alchol". Although I fully agree with her here, I can’t help thinking she’d be taken more seriously if she took the time to spell check her list. If I was even thinking of maybe voting for her I’d see this typo and change my mind. How can one be appointed to run California if they can’t even spell correctly or have the brains to spell check?

Damn.