THE WATCH

Fayner Posts: After the Eddie Van Halen party, many of the guests were treated to a gift bag. In the limo ride back to the Valley, I opened mine up to see what I got. Inside was a watch, a chick watch.

Before I could hand it to Taylor, or Kirsten Price or Monica, some hammered make-up chick who works for Wicked snatched the watch from my hand and declared, "Thanks! I’ll take it!"

"Sure, I guess," I said, "But I didn’t offer it to you."

"You’re so kind!" she screamed.

"But I never said you could have it. Basically you just stole a watch I was gonna give to one of my friends."

"Oh, we’re friends? You’re so sweet!"

"You just don’t get it do you?" I asked.

Later, someone mentioned that the watch was worth like $1,000. Barrett and I looked it up on the internet and found out it can be purchased for $299.

"Fuck it!" I yelled. "For $300 that drunk whore can have it! If it was $1,000 I would have hunted her down and cut her arm off to take it back! That’s the Jew in me!"

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