Not Fayner Posts: Taylor Rain was nice enough to invite me the other day with her as she drove all the way to Downtown Los Angeles (yeah, it is like another country when you live in Woodland Hills) to return a bogus television. On the way she called super-duper guy Jonni Darkko to tell him we were headed for his neighborhood and would he want to go get some lunch with us or something while we were out there.

Jonni agreed. I know I was pleased, being as that I am not Fayner and have never met Mr. Darkko.

Jonni was nothing like I imagined. The only thing I ever read about him was that story about how he was a bigger druggie than Fayner and when I saw him sitting upright in a chair and not drooling I knew that what I had read was way wrong.

Until later on.

You see, Fayner was my mentor and the only advice he ever gave me before he died was that I should always look in a person’s refridgerator for a whipped cream bottle and if there is one I should always suck the nitrous out of it. And if it’s already been sucked out, Fayner said, that person should instantly become your friend because ruining whipped cream for a 2 second high marks that of an incredible person.

So I checked. And there was a bottle. And it had been ruined.

Jonni denied doing it.

He was lying.

But that’s okay ’cause he’s now okay in my book.

Also, TR blew up his toilet and then left without telling him.

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