Panocha Paul

Dear Gabacho,
The hairy Mexican pussy existed until a generation ago, when feminine grooming was still the—what shall we call it?—bailiwick of slutty gabachas. Times have changed: a recent survey from the bushmasters at Remington shows 67 percent of ladies under 45 shave their hoo-hah. The study doesn’t break down the numbers by ethnicity or class, but Kristi at Newport Beach’s Studio 486 beauty salon can vouch for Mexican gals pampering their panocha. “I’d say a third of my clientele is Mexican,” she says. “I get Spanish-only speakers, little chola girls, rich women, older ladies—all kinds.” Although she subscribes to the theory that many immigrant women were taught to “not touch themselves down there,” Kristi says the most guilt-ridden ladies are actually Indian and European. “The main reason women wax nowadays is they like to feel clean and it makes them feel pretty,” Kristi adds, “and that applies to all races.” If your wife allows her rose to bloom too much, Panocha Paul, she either isn’t interested in you anymore or she’s auditioning for the Hirsute Honeys porno series.