Fayner Posts: First off, let me assure you that at this present moment as TR lays on a Nantucket beach practically naked with drunk, inbred monsters attempting to have their way with her young body I sit here eating cold French toast back at the house working and crying and thinking of things to write that at the very least will make you smile or cry or think or shoot heroin into your veins.
And I hate you for this.
Pretty much last night TR was down for the count. Tired, really. And full of pork tenderloin, too. The food, you sickos, not my cock. Geez…
But when TR heard that I was headed over someone’s house who has 14 bongs, she quickly jumped up and was ready to join the living.
To the story…My drunk buddy "Blurry Rocks" brought us to some bar where the people working like porno. Shocking!!!!!
I now pause to smoke half a joint. Bear with me
One guy in particular, a Jamaican, seemed quite fond of porno. He scooped up most of the DVDs we handed out and ran across the street to his place, and for some reason we followed. It could be how I like watching Jamaican guys beat off, I’m in no mood to discuss my problems right now.
Luckily there were other people there, so it was less awkward than I expected. The Jamaican guy bolted off to his room, and seconds later his sleeping Jamaican roommate appeared having just been kicked out for a little bit while his buddy jerked his jerky.
The Jamaican also liked porno.
“How can I do this?” he asked, holding up a Vivid DVD.
“What,” TR responded, “sell DVDs?”
“No, mon,” he shot back, “fuck the girls in the videos!”
“Listen,” I told him, “here’s what you do: Go find a whore and bring he back, then fuck her with all these people here watching.”
“Okay.”
“I’m not done,” I yelled. “Take this guy here and have him put his face right under your ball sac for about an hour. Okay, so fuck some whore with ten people watching and your balls resting on your friend’s forehead for over an hour. Can you do that?”
“Sure thing, mon!”
“Fine! Take it out then!”
And as he began undressing TR and I left post haste.